Help a Friend

You may suspect something is wrong even if your friend doesn’t talk about it with you.  If you can answer yes to some of these questions, they may be in an unhealthy relationship.

HAS YOUR FRIEND:

• Stopped seeing friends and family members and become more isolated and hard to get a hold of?

• Lost interest in activities that they used to enjoy and/or frequently canceled plans at the last minute?

• Apologized for their partner’s behavior and made excuses for their partner?

• Been acting withdrawn, sad, less confident or worried?

• Seemed worried about upsetting or making their partner angry?

• Had injuries that they can’t explain, or given explanations for them that don’t make sense?

OR DOES THEIR PARTNER:

• Put them down in front of other people?

• Seem possessive and/or jealous?

• Make decisions for them, such as what to wear, where to go or what to do?

• Check up on them – call or text message them excessively?

WHAT IF THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO TALK?

Your friend may deny the violence or make excuses for their partner’s behavior. They may even be angry with you for asking.

PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING ABUSED:

• May not even admit to themselves that they are in a violent relationship

• Often hope or believe the violence won’t happen again, even if it has happened many times.

• May feel embarrassed, ashamed or afraid to talk about it.

• Often feel it is their fault and that they can fix it.

If they won’t talk, don’t force it.  Say that you are concerned, you care, and you want them to be safe.  Try to stay in touch.  They may come to you for help later.  Be ready to help when they are ready to take steps.