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Boys Becoming Men
Teaching boys to be non-violent partners
We teach our boys...
Do we teach them to treat their partners with honor
and respect?
From the time that they are young, boys are bombarded with messages
of what it means to “be a man.” Over time they learn that using
their power and strength against others is proof of their manhood,
and that violence equals strength, even if the victim of their
violence is someone they love. Is this really what we want our boys
to learn?
In September 2007 for the 5th Annual Breakfast Eye Opener, SAVE
created a short video of interviews with local men discussing what
they learned as youth about the roles of women and men:
“My
dad told me to stay out of the kitchen because that’s women’s work.”
“I
grew up watching Leave it to Beaver. The father laid down the
rules, and everyone obeyed them.”
“My
dad was expected to be the head of the family and make all the
important decisions.”
“Men
are expected to be strong, not show any emotion.”
Other men have shared how they were told on the basketball court to
“take it like a man” and “don’t act like a girl.”
Boys learn from the men around them how to treat women. Lieutenant
Mark Riggs, Fremont Police Department, shares the story of the
domestic violence incident where he was arresting a father who had
punched his girlfriend in the face and broke her nose. Their child
was not affected by the police presence or the fact that his Dad was
going to jail. He was riding a scooter on the sidewalk at 3:00
pm
proudly saying that it was his birthday today. This poor little boy
was growing up to think this type of violence against loved partners
is the norm.
Fortunately, we can have a big influence on the boys in our lives --
whether they are our sons, nephews, students, players, or friends --
to help them grow into healthy non-violent partners. Learn
more about what you can do.
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